We zijn op de helft!

Wat gaat de tijd toch snel, vandaag de 13e bestraling gehad dus we zijn op de helft. Het bestralen zelf is nog steeds niet vervelend, je voelt echt niets. De wondranden worden wel wat rood en voelen een beetje geïrriteerd maar verder gaat het goed. Wel heb ik het idee dat ik wat minder energie heb dus “profiteer” ik er lekker van en ga wat eerder naar huis en neem soms ’s middags een rustpauze. Ook in de avond heb ik wat minder energie en soms vraag ik me af of het echt is of dat ik me verbeeld. Mede hierom lees ik ook geen boeken of artikelen. Je gaat dan dingen zien die er niet zijn en dingen voelen die je niet hoeft te voelen. Ik probeer het op mijn eigen manier te ervaren.

Tijdens het bestralen lag ik vorige week wat dieper na te denken over wat er nu eigenlijk gebeurt. Dat er op dat moment stralen in je lichaam gaan, zelfs door je long, die eigenlijk van alles kapot maken en ineens werd het eng. Moest me echt snel tot de orde roepen anders was ik in paniek geraakt. Men vraagt me wel eens waarom ik bestraal wordt terwijl ik met succes ben geopereerd. Het blijkt dat er nog microscopisch kleine celletjes kunnen zitten die zich alsnog kunnen ontwikkelen als het gebied niet wordt bestraald. Aangezien ik al een uitzaaiing in mijn oksel had en in mijn borst ook nog eentje in aanleg was deze kans heel groot. En risico lopen, nee dat wil ik echt niet. Ik heb er alles voor over om weer gezond te worden.

Vandaag dus de 13e bestraling gehad, nu nog 13 te gaan.

Inmiddels is het maandag. De kinderen kwamen gisteren om mijn 13e jubileum te vieren. img14791529522191Haha, alweer een reden om een wijntje te drinken! Ik mocht weer lekker “lui” zijn er werd chinees besteld, tafel gedekt en ook de tafel weer afgeruimd. Soms is het zelfs wel fijn om een beetje ziek te zijn. Voor Lizzie was Sinterklaas geweest met een mooi kadootje en voor de volwassenen een chocoladeletter zo werd het een gezellig feestje met de familie.

Ik heb vannacht voor het eerst, sinds mijn schouderblessure, weer eens doorgeslapen en ik voel me heerlijk fit vanmorgen. Misschien was die moeheid dan toch door mijn schouder en niet door het bestralen ik ga daar van uit.

Over een uurtje ben ik weer in het ziekenhuis voor de 14e bestraling. Ik realiseer me wel dat ik “geluk” heb gehad dat de laatste bestraling op 6 december is en niet op 6 november. Stel je voor dat ik eerder klaar was geweest dan was ik gedwongen geweest met de kerst thuis te blijven voor de chemotherapie. IK had het dan echt niet voor elkaar gekregen de chemo in januari te starten. Zo zie je..

Er is altijd en lichtpuntje!

147 reacties op “We zijn op de helft!

  1. Wat is het toch fijn om zo positief in het leven te staan en je omringt te voelen met lieve mensen.
    Heel veel sterkte met de moeilijke zaken en geniet van de mooie momenten.
    Liefs,

    Marianne Plandsoen

  2. Chapeau Madou, je bent een kanjer! Je bezit de mooie eigenschappen om te kunnen relativeren en lachen tussen zorg en tranen door. Goed dat je dat kunt: prima manier om de regie over de dagelijkse dingen te houden. En met zo’ n lieve familie en extra steun van mensen om je heen die om je geven kóm je er! Dikke duim!
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